Confessions of a Grumpy Mommy

This morning I got up at...I'm ashamed to admit it...9:00. However, after going to bed at 10:30, Baby waking up, let's see...10, 12, 2, 4, 5, 6, 8...that would be 7 times; throw in there TWO morning alarms starting at 4:30, and not being able to get to sleep for some mysterious reason until almost 2:00 anyway, and I excuse myself with the reason that it was the only way I could accumulate a broken up total of almost 5 hours of sleep. Now, why am I complaining about it on here? Well, I guess to keep me from being grumpy about my miserable night and thus making my day miserable too!

Tell me, why on earth does every other kid past six months (at least it seems like it) go to bed at 8 and sleep peacefully until 6 or 7? My kid sure doesn't. Waking up every two hours isn't unique for her, she's been doing it for months. I don't think I've slept four hours straight more than half a dozen times in the last 6 months. Last time I did, it sure felt good!

Is it my fault my kid doesn't sleep? Sure, I know it is. In fact, at her last appointment, Baby's doctor scolded me for letting her nurse during the night so often. My excuse? I just haven't mustered up the mental, physical, and emotional energy to spend a week of nights awake multiple times for an hour each time, listening to her cry two feet from my head...I know I need to do it, but I haven't yet. A few weeks ago, she was waking up nearly every hour to hour and a half. That, I absolutely had to put a stop to. It involved three nights of not letting her nurse between 11 and 5, which meant her crying for quite a while, even if one of us held her. The third night, she cried for 45 minutes straight in her crib before falling back to sleep. What do I do wrong? She usually puts herself to sleep at night in her crib and I don't let her sleep in our bed (at least not usually). I do get her when she stands up crying during the night, though, and I guess that has spoiled her. It's hard to hear her cry because I don't want her to feel abandoned in there, but also for the purely selfish reason that I'd rather nurse her and have her back to sleep in five minutes so I can go back to sleep myself!
Alas, the realities of life with Baby. When we move and she has her own room, perhaps it will be easier...That's my hope anyway! Meanwhile, I better get her as she stands and cries right now...